For professionals:

What about  children and youth prone to bullying? How can we help them? Below is a course outline for 1-1 behavioural modification for those who are drawn to bullying.

We can work with the child/youth,  or mentor /coach you as you lead it yourself. 

604 307 9146 or bully_back_off@yahoo.com

Outline: Training for Professionals,

1-1 Program for behavior modification for children prone to bullying

Youth who bully do so to put it simply” because it feels good”, at least in the moment . Many have low empathy for others as they themselves have been bullied or come from challenging backgrounds. Some are just copying others to fit in. If their parents are aggressive then their behaviour is learned and reinforced at home despite school staff  efforts.  1-1 -Work as often as possible should be completed in conjunction with group work ( see attached)

1. Recognition of social situations: Some simply cannot recognize social situations or react in appropriate ways to them. Role-play with them and make use of situational cards.

2. Empathy-Many youth simply have not fully developed a sense of empathy. To do so we need to assist it its development.   Animals help bridge that gap . Bring in your pet, especially if is tis a dog, Take them to the pound /SPCA /animal rescue society. Persuade parents to let them have a pet. (Even a hamster or goldfish is a start.) 

3. Self -control: Teach them a similar skill set to the bullied children. Ie a sense of empowerment via self -control rather than by aggression. STAR,  when under stress, or angry helps ( Stop, Think, Assess and then Relax and or Respond) Resist  “reacting “.

4. Anger and stress management.-The same skills that work for adults ie visualization , music, breathing and relaxation exercises work for youth  and children. Teach them and encourage them to practice. These can be useful in the moment ,and  also have a cumulative effect over time 

5. Non-violent self-defense- Again about empowerment, not aggression. Ju Jitsu and Judo are good choices. Be sure to get references and interview the owner, to ensure it is a self-defense and empowerment program ,  in order to avoid  violence and aggression ( not vice versa)

6. Acts of Random Kindness- Have participants do them as homework and report back each week on what they did. You will be amazed at the results 

7. Weekly reviews-  What occurred, feelings, turning points, alternatives that might have been

8. Daily check ins - catch them at the entrance each day . Ask them how they are feeling.  Praise for yesterday ( if it went well) Reinforce strategies for today. Help avoid any conflicts

9. Praise- Praise and rewards for the slightest improvements (For a teenager the absence of bad behavior in their minds is good behaviour. ) Youth clients tell us over and over that everyone from parents to teachers punishes, but seldom rewards, or praises the absence of the behaviors they were trying to correct.

10.Milestones- Recognize/reward milestones. Just like an alcoholic. (eg.  1 week. 1 month 1yr clean and sober etc.)